CHAPTER XLIX · 48 of 145
The Dialogue
English, translated by Algar Thorold — Algar Thorold, 1896
How servile fear is not sufficient to give eternal life ; and how, by the exercise of this fear, one arrives at the love of virtue.
" Now I say to thee that there are some few who, feeling themselves spurred by the tribulations of the world (which I give in order that the soul may know that her end is not in this life, and that things are imperfect and transitory, and that she may desire Me Who am her End), begin to lift the cloud off themselves, on account of the suffering that sin causes them, and, which they see, must follow sin. With this servile fear they begin to come out of the river, vomit ing the poison which was flung to them by the scorpion under the appearance of gold, and which they took without moderation, receiving thereby poison, and, arising, take the direction of the bank to attach themselves to the Bridge.
" But it does not suffice to go with servile fear alone, for to sweep out the house of mortal sin, without filling it with virtue, founded in love and not in fear, will not give eternal life. Man must put both feet on the first step of the Bridge, that is, affection and desire, which are the feet that
A TREATISE OF DISCRETION in
carry the soul into the love of My Truth, of Whom I have made for you a Bridge. This servile fear is the first step, which I told thee would have to be ascended, when I told thee how He had made a staircase of His Body, and it is indeed true, that it is almost always the first step that the servants of the world take, arising, first, through the fear of pain. The world begins to displease them, sometimes on account of its tribulations, and sometimes because they become tedious to themselves. If they exercise this fear with the light of faith, they will pass on to the love of virtue.
"But, there are some who proceed with such half-heartedness that oftentimes they turn in again, because, having arrived at the bank, and, contrary winds arising, they are struck by the waves of the tempestuous sea of this dark life. And if the wind of prosperity arrives, a man, not having, through negligence, mounted, with affection, and the love of virtue, the first great step, turns his head back to the pleasures of the world with disordinate delight. If the wind of adversity blows, he turns back through impatience, because he has not hated his sin on account of the injury it has done to Me, but on account of the fear of pain it causes to him, with which fear alone he had arisen from the vomit. All practice of virtue requires perseverance, and if a man does not persevere he will not attain his desire, which is to arrive at the end for which he began. Wherefore to fulfil his desire he needs perseverance.
" I have told thee that they turn back on account of the diverse contrary winds that arise against them, or the warring of their own sensuality against the Spirit, or because they turn to creatures, loving them with disordinate love apart from Me, or on account of impatience of injury, or the Devil makes them turn back through many and diverse battles, and sometimes through contempt, bringing them to confusion, saying :
"'This good which thou hast begun to practise is not worth so much to thee as thy sins and faults,' which he says to make them turn back and abandon the little practice of virtue which they had begun. And sometimes
ii2 THE DIALOGUE OF ST. CATHERINE
he makes them turn back through love of pleasure, telling them to hope in My Mercy, saying : ' Why harass thyself? Enjoy this life, and, in the extremity of death, recognising thy sins, thou shalt receive mercy.' And so, in this way, the Devil causes them to lose the fear with which they had begun. For these, and many other things, they turn back and are not constant or persevering, and all this befalls them because the roots of self-love are by no means ploughed up in them, and they take hold of the hope of My Mercy, not as they ought, but with great presumption, seizing that which they continually offend. I have not given, and do not give, My mercy in order that men may offend in the hope of it, but in order that they may defend themselves, with it, from the malice of the Devil, and from disordinate confusion of mind. But they who offend with the arm of mercy do quite the contrary, and it is because they have not persevered in the first change they made, arising, through the fear of pain and the pricks of the thorns of many tribulations, from the misery of mortal sin. Wherefore, not having made the first change, they do not attain to the love of virtue, and therefore do they not persevere.
"The soul that does not change her course does not proceed, and, if she proceeds not, she turns back, so that such as these, of whom I have been speaking to thee, not proceeding with virtue, nor arising from the imperfections of fear and attaining to love, must needs turn back."